The Inquisitor
CHARACTER SHEET
The Inquisitor
Class: Paladin (Oath of the Human-First)
Level: LinkedIn Verified
Alignment: Lawful Suspicious
BIOGRAPHY
A self-described “human-first technologist” and full-stack engineer who has taken up the holy cause of exposing AI frauds. Positions themselves as a voice of reason against the tide of hype. Believes they stand outside the magical economy while actively participating in it.
ATTRIBUTES
| Stat | Score | Modifier |
|---|---|---|
| STR (Conviction) | 16 | +3 |
| DEX (Nuance) | 8 | -1 |
| CON (Consistency) | 14 | +2 |
| INT (Technical Depth) | 12 | +1 |
| WIS (Self-Awareness) | 6 | -2 |
| CHA (Engagement Farming) | 15 | +2 |
ABILITIES
Detect Heresy (Passive) Can identify crypto refugees, NFT peddlers, and marketing backgrounds in AI influencer bios at a range of 60 feet. Automatically triggers when viewing any profile with “AI” and “course” in proximity.
Credential Check (Bonus Action) Examines target’s work history. If target “didn’t work in tech before 202?,” attack rolls against their credibility have advantage.
Smite Charlatan (1/post) +2d6 engagement damage against anyone selling prompt engineering courses. Damage increases to 3d6 if target previously mentioned crypto.
Aura of Authenticity (10 ft radius) “Human-first” in bio grants resistance to accusations of Luddism. Allies within range gain +2 to saves against being dismissed as technophobic.
Righteous Curse (1/day) May invoke misfortune upon enemies: “I hope they choke on their own ####.” No mechanical effect, but feels powerful.
WEAKNESSES
Mirror Blindness Critique is moral and tribal. Could easily be cast as a Heretic by another Paladin.
Friendly Fire Vulnerability The same credential attacks that work on AI evangelists could be turned on anyone. The Inquisitor’s authority derives from the same unverifiable expertise economy they condemn. Everyone starts somewhere.
Incantation Dependency Relies on protective phrases (“human-first,” “focus on what you know”) that function as wards rather than arguments.
EQUIPMENT
- Bio Amulet of Human-First — Worn visibly. Grants tribal identification.
- Scrolls of Past Sins — Screenshots of targets’ crypto/NFT/metaverse posts from 2021-2022.
ANALYSIS
What The Inquisitor Gets Right: The magical economy is full of credential fraud. People did pivot from crypto to AI overnight. Prompt engineering courses are often grimoire-peddling.
What The Inquisitor Misses: The critique never exits the magical frame. Instead they offer:
- Purity tests
- Tribal markers
- Curses
The Inquisitor has noticed that some self-proclaimed wizards are merely tinkering with dark magic.
ENCOUNTER NOTES
Lessons: The Third Law captures even its skeptics. Opposition to false magic is not the same as understanding that magic isn’t real.
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